Day of Hope

Over the past few days Facebook has reminded me that August 19th is the Day of Hope.  It has really caused me to reflect on our journey and where God has taken us.

I have dedicated 2014 as my year of hope.  After all that happened in 2013 (losing two babies and my husband surviving a traumatic fall off our roof) I came into this year with a sense of a new beginning and a new-foundhope.  I was so excited to leave 2013 in the rearview mirror and anticipating all that God would do in 2014.

However, as I reflect on our journey I'm also reminded of those really dark days where hope and faith were really all I had to cling on to.  In fact, hope ran really low on some days and I truly questioned whether or not I would ever be a mom, how many more losses we would have to suffer, would we go through IVF, would we seek adoption.  There were so many unanswered questions but hope kept us going.

After our second loss and the subsequent "unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss" diagnosis our journey became much harder.  These questions lingered for a long time.  It was no longer a matter of "if we get pregnant again" but "when we get pregnant again" and the fears of losing yet another baby.  We had committed to trying one last time before seeking further help and more answers.  Hope is what kept us going...hope of one day meeting our son or our daughter and having a healthy baby in our arms.

Today, on this Day of Hope, I'm so incredibly thankful for where God has brought us and our family, especially the beautiful blessing of our baby boy.  But I'm also reminded of the journey that has led us here (the good times and the very hard times) and am sympathetic to all my friends who are still traveling this hard path to having their take home baby.  I think of them all the time and my heart breaks with each and every one of them.  I feel the pain they suffer and the sense that hope is disappearing as God is continuing to call them to wait. 

I don't understand why some of our journeys are so hard and others have it so easy, why some are called to patience and to wait and why some must suffer such significant losses.  But I do know and trust that God has a beautiful plan for each and every one of us and that through the hard times He will use it for our good.  For me, going through the loss of our babies was a forever life-changing journey.  It changed me in so many ways and I view it today as good.  I'm thankful for the path God took us down (although I would never wish to go through it again) because of all the changes it has brought in me and the friendships I have made throughout this season that will last a lifetime.

Today, I'm thinking of my friends (many of who are already mothers but never got to hold their baby/babies), especially those who are feeling like hope is fading.  I'm praying for each and every one of them and hoping that they remember that their desire to be a mom is a desire that God himself has placed in their heart.  So long as that desire remains I'm confident that, in His perfect timing, He will fulfill that desire.  I pray that each and everyone of my friends holds on to hope and never gives up because each and everyone of you are already the best mom a child could ever ask for!