41 Weeks!

Tomorrow I will be 41 weeks pregnant and officially closing the door on this amazing chapter and opening a whole new door!  That's right- at 11:30 p.m. tonight I am scheduled to start my induction and will hopefully be holding our sweet precious son sometime tomorrow (although it could be Sunday)!!

Lloyd and I went for our appointment on Wednesday and learned that there was absolutely zero progress or signs of labor starting.  I honestly felt so deflated, frustrated, disappointed, and exhausted.  For the past week I had tried so many of the so-called "natural labor inducers"...from lots of sex, tons of walking, and evening primrose oil and not even a smidge of progress.

My doctor asked what I wanted to do and I knew my answer (it was different depending on how my exam went).  I knew that we didn't want to wait too much longer but also didn't want to induce prior to 41 weeks.  So, we decided to schedule an induction.

My OB attempted to schedule at our favored hospital but ran into some obstacles.  First, they preferred that I had been under their care the past month.  Second, they wanted me to do at least 1 NST on Friday and possibly another one on Monday.  The final straw though was when they wouldn't induce me prior to 41w3d, which is the Tuesday before Christmas (December 23rd).  Both Lloyd and I did not feel comfortable with this as we would prefer that Cameron's birthday not be so close to Christmas and we also wanted a chance to be home with our little guy.  So, we asked to be scheduled at my OB's hospital (which is further away from home, about 80 minutes) and were able to get an appointment for 11:30 pm tonight!

This week has been so full of emotions.  I was really disappointed on Wednesday as an induced labor is far from my original birth plan.  However, God has carried me through these past few days and provided a peace in my heart with the decision we've made.  I know that it's the right decision and I've come to terms with my new birth plan and have accepted that it will likely change as well.  At the end of the day all that matter is that we will be holding Cameron in our arms very shortly!!

After another night of not-so-great sleep I woke up super early this morning, full of anticipation!  Thankfully I have quite a bit to do before we leave for the hospital tonight so I won't be sitting around too anxious! 

While walking this morning I was listening to my Christian music playlist that I made specifically for labor.  I was filled with so many emotions but mostly pure excitement!  I truly cannot believe that THIS day is finally here!  As nervous as I am for the labor journey I am just thrilled that I will be holding Cameron soon and starting a whole new chapter!  He is absolutely the best Christmas present I could ever ask for!  My heart is filled with so much love for our little guy! 

During the walk I was talking to him and letting him know how much I have truly enjoyed being pregnant with him!  It's something I will greatly miss and it's made me savor these last few inside kicks the past couple days!  I also let him know how much he was prayed for and how loved he already is!  There are so many people excited to meet our son and he has touched so many lives even before his arrival here on earth!  It's been a fun journey these past 9 months- one that I am tremendously grateful for!

I would also like to share a cool story from this past week.  We have been joking about the irony that my body couldn't keep our first two babies and now it won't "release" our healthy son.  Lloyd was sharing this with a co-worker who responded so beautifully saying, "That's because your two babies are holding Cameron and keeping him safe right now".  When Lloyd told me that I knew how true it was.  Our two angel babies are always here, ever so present, and protecting us in so many ways.  They are a huge part of our story...there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and I know that they will be with me tonight, tomorrow, and all the days ahead as we meet and get to know Cameron! 

For our 1st wedding anniversary I made a 366 day calendar (to include Leap Year).  I flipped the calendar this morning and feel that it's absolutely perfect for today:

God is so incredibly good and faithful!  Today is just another testimony to His unconditional and relentless love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness!  Thank you God for answering our prayers and carrying us through this journey!  We are forever humbled, thankful, and grateful for all the ways you have and continue to provide for us!

40 Weeks!!!

40 Weeks!!!

Today, I am officially 40 weeks pregnant!  I cannot believe this day has finally arrived as it has been much anticipated since we found out we were pregnant on April 5th!  My heart is filled with excitement, gratitude, and thankfulness!  God is so incredibly good!

This past week has been a challenge (or a test of patience) awaiting Cameron's arrival.  Lloyd and I had our doctor's appointment on Tuesday and found out that my cervix is softer but we couldn't confirm that I have dilated at all.  We asked my doctor for recommendations on how to naturally get things going and her response was, "sex helps". 

So, we've been trying that theory out and I started taking Evening Primrose Oil on Thursday to see if we can get my cervix to cooperate.  We have another appointment scheduled for Wednesday (12/17) and I really hope that Cameron makes his move before then.  If not, we will be scheduling an induction for the week of Christmas.

Every day I get super excited at the thought that "today might be the day" we finally get to meet Cameron and hold him in our arms!  It's a prayer, dream, and vision that fills my heart with pure happiness.  I absolutely cannot wait to see our little guy, hold him, hear his cry, and just love on him!

While waiting this week I have also been reflecting on our journey and thanking God for answering our prayers.  It was exactly one year ago when we were in such a different place.  We had just lost our second baby and were going through "recurrent pregnancy loss" testing with our infertility doctor.  The test results came back as "unexplained" and we were told to try again.  Our doctor was completely optimistic but we were not.  We had fear wrapped in even more layers of hope.  Hope and faith were what kept us going and I'm so glad that we decided to trust God and persevere.

Throughout this journey, the one constant for me is that God has never left my side and He has provided me with a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding.  I remember thinking that I would never enjoy being pregnant again after our two losses.  However, these past 36 weeks have been so much fun!  I absolutely LOVE being pregnant and have enjoyed sharing this special bond with Cameron.  As excited as I am to meet him and hold him, I am also selfishly sad that I will now have to share him with the rest of the world.  I truly believe that this was just another way God has worked good into a very difficult journey.  He changed me in so many ways and I am forever thankful...it wasn't the path I would have chosen but His ways truly are better than our ways- sometimes it takes being on the other side of the valley to understand this though.

Cameron- Happy Due Date my sweet precious son!  Your daddy and I love you so much and cannot wait to meet you!  Words cannot describe how thankful we are that God gave us you! 

Week 37: Adventures in Labor and Delivery

37w5d

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  So much to be thankful for this year!  God is so incredibly good, faithful, and He continues to amaze us in His abundant blessings!  Needless to say, this year I am beyond thankful and filled with gratitude for the amazing blessing of our precious son, Cameron!  I absolutely cannot wait to meet him in the next couple of weeks!

Speaking of...our pregnancy has been very uneventful until this past week.  This week I've managed to visit two separate Labor and Delivery units (at different hospitals). 

The first visit was for monitoring after I fell (landing on my belly) last Saturday.  I arrived at L&D and quickly learned that I would have to stay a minimum of 4 hours for monitoring and would have to miss my good friend's baby shower.  The good news was that Cameron was perfectly okay and there were no concerns for his healthy and safety! 

Our second visit was for monitoring after my blood pressure was unusually high at my routine doctor's appointment.  Typically my BP is around 110/70 but for some reason it was consistently (3 separate readings) high- reading 140/90.  After the last reading my doctor confirmed that we needed to go to Labor and Delivery for observation and to rule out pre-eclampsia.  We arrived at L&D, got checked in, and hooked up to the monitors.  Thankfully, my BP stabilized and quickly returned to normal; however, protocol insists that I had to stay for a minimum of 3 hours (or 4 hours since the high reading at my doctor's office).  In addition to my blood pressure being okay, my blood work and urine all came back negative for pre-eclampsia. 

I was so relieved as I knew that if my blood pressure did not stabilize we were likely going to be induced and meet Cameron a little earlier than expected.  As we were driving to the hospital on Tuesday I was playing lots of scenarios in my head and really contemplating my birth plan (which is to go natural, if at all possible).  I am well aware that an induced labor is much more intense and painful and limits the ability to move around, which is crucial to having a natural birth.  I was also wondering how we were going to get our hospital bags (the hospital we were sent to is over an hour, without traffic, from our home...it took us 3 hours to get home that night when we were released). 

As all these things were running through my mind, I realized that I wasn't in control and that God had all of this in His hands.  I quickly released and audibly verbalized, "God, you've got this.  I'm giving this to you and trusting in your plan.  I will deal with each of these things as they become necessary, taking it one step at a time".  It's amazing the peace I felt once I relinquished control and placed it into God's hands.  He has been here every step of the way and continues to meet every need! 

Today is Thanksgiving and I'm at a loss for the right words to describe my thankfulness and gratitude.  A year has passed since last Thanksgiving, yet it feels like our life is so much different and greater than our wildest dreams!  Last year I could not have imagined that we would be pregnant and meeting our son just a year later...it was a dream and a prayer that we begged and pleaded for for many days and nights and today it's our reality!  This journey has taught me so much and has truly changed me for the better!  Today, my heart is full of thankfulness, gratitude, and a peace that comes when you place your life in God's hands and trust in Him regardless of the circumstances.

Love and blessings to each and everyone of you, especially those still traveling the journey to their take home babies.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and pray for your little miracles.  May hope and peace be with you all the days until that glorious day arrives!

Weeks 35 and 36: Cameron's Nursery and More!

Today I am 36w2d pregnant!  That's right, only 26 more days until Cameron's due date!  We are getting so close and with each passing day I am filled with more anticipation and excitement to meet our precious son!  Words cannot describe the excitement I have for meeting Cameron and finally holding him in my arms!

The past couple weeks have been busy!  I am truly in full on nesting mode!  There's so much to do and time is of the essence!

Things we have accomplished recently include: 

• installing the car seat bases
• finishing the nursery
• buying the remaining essentials we need before Cameron arrives (baby wipes, hats, socks, nipple cream, etc)
• preparing freezer meals
• starting the maternity leave process
• packing Cameron's hospital bag
• setting up the rock n play
• finishing thank you cards
• organizing photos (so we can erase them from our camera's memory stick)
• writing my birth plan
• wrapping up loose ends/projects at work
• getting the house all clean and organized

Of all the things we have accomplished, finishing the nursery has truly brought a sense of joy and peace!  Seeing it all come together these past few weeks has been fun and I'm truly happy with the final product- it came out better than I could have envisioned!

1 Samuel 1:27

Psalm 93:4

Hebrews 6:19

Change Table/Dresser with Picture Frames and Paddle

Change Table Station

Cameron's Crib with Name Overhead!

Rocking Chair, Nightstand, Sailboats, and Life-saver (baby shower guests signed it with notes to Cameron!)

Nightstand Closeup

Inside Cameron's Closet- he already has lots of clothes and essentials!

View from the doorway!

I also had an appointment last week (at 35w3d) with my OB.  It was great seeing her and knowing that Cameron is doing great!  He's measuring right on track (although, according to my OB, on the "smaller side of average"- she's guessing around 7 lbs) and has a strong heartbeat!  Everything is going so smoothly and I couldn't be more thankful!  She did the Group B Strep test (will get results from that next week) and we talked extensively about the whole labor process, when to go to the hospital, etc.  We also scheduled my last appointments!!!  I go back on November 25th, December 2nd, 9th, and 17th (hopefully this appointment isn't needed!)!  Overall, it was a great appointment!

We only have a few more To-Do list items and then we are all set and truly 100% ready for Cameron's arrival!  I had grand intentions of doing a bunch of cleaning this past weekend but God had other things in mind.  I came down with a bad cold on Friday and have been forced to rest.  It's amazing how God works sometimes...there's so much to do but He's put me in a place where my only option is to listen to my body and relax!  So, instead of checking things off my never-ending list, I spent most of the weekend relaxing in my pajamas and enjoying quiet moments with Lloyd!  We watched a movie, went to church (I was feeling okay on Saturday night to do this), watched a sermon online Sunday morning, did some reading, and that's pretty much it!  I'm still feeling under the weather today and am curious how long this will last...praying it goes away sooner than later! 

For now, I will just listen to my body and do my best to enjoy these little moments of being pregnant with Cameron- who knows, he can come any day now and as excited as I am to meet him I know that I will miss these moments where it's just me and him!

Weeks 33 and 34!

Me at 33 weeks

The last month has gone by so fast!  I cannot believe that we are already at the end of our 34th week of pregnancy and we will be meeting our precious little Cameron next month!

Work is coming to an end and is very busy trying to finish up two big projects.  Thankfully, things have been going pretty smoothly and it looks like I will be able to finish them before I start my maternity leave. 

Speaking of work...this past week work surprised me with a nice baby shower!  Our team went to lunch to celebrate the completion and release of one of our projects.  When we got back there were more co-workers hanging out in our conference room.  My boss came over and said, "Look what they left us!" which prompted all of us to meander into the conference room.  I walked in and was surprised with seeing my friends and colleagues, baby boy balloons, a beautiful cake, and a very nice card that had very generous gift cards to Target and Babies R Us. 

Work baby shower

Truly, I am so so thankful for my co-workers- words cannot describe the gratitude I have for my amazing boss (who has gone above and beyond in being flexible, understanding, and caring throughout this journey) and my co-workers who have also provided so much support and encouragement these past two years.  As much as I am looking forward to being a stay-at-home mom I will truly miss the friendship and comaderie that I have found at work these past 6 1/2 years.

Besides work, I have been very busy trying to get everything organized and ready for Cameron's arrival.  Everything from making sure we have what he needs, cleaning and organizing his room, setting up the car seat and bases, filling out all the safety warranties just in case there is a recall, cleaning our house, and figuring out what freezer meals I want to prepare in the upcoming weeks.

In fun news, I took some time away from the craziness to go see my little cousins play soccer!  They are so adorable and such a joy to be around!  It was great watching them play, especially Kaylie because she really loves the sport and is constantly amazing me with her improvement each week!  It was also nice to spend some time with my family, getting to catch up with my aunt, cousins, and my mom!

Finally, we celebrated Lloyd's birthday this past week!  It started on Halloween, relaxing at home and handing out candy to treat-or-treaters.  Saturday we went up to visit his parents and grandma and enjoyed a nice lunch/dinner and birthday cake for dessert!  It was wonderful seeing everyone and celebrating Lloyd's special day with them!  On the way home we decided to rent Transformers.  Although it was an intriguing movie, taking on a 3 hour movie after a long day was a little too much for my third trimester body!  I made it to about the 2 hour mark before starting to doze in and out of sleep on the couch.  We finally decided to call it a night and finish the movie in the morning!

Sunday morning we woke up and watched the rest of Transformers before heading out to play a round of golf at a course about an hour from our house.  It turned out to be a beautiful day on the golf course (after having rained on Saturday)!  It's always nice to watch Lloyd play golf (I only spectate!) because it's a true passion for him and he's really quite good!  I love spending that time with him! 

After golf we went to one of our favorite happy hour restaurants!  Lloyd enjoyed a couple pumpkin beers and we shared some sliders and a pizza!  Such a great time and very thankful for these little moments just the two of us before we become a family of three!

Speaking of...on my way home from work this past week I decided to pre-register at the hospital we plan to deliver (after two hospitals had called the previous week to get me to register...I guess we're getting close!).  Anyways, I walked in and met with the lady to complete the process.  While there some nursery type music came on and she explained that it plays every time a new baby is born!  It was so sweet and so surreal!  Leaving the hospital was a uniquely emotional experience...I couldn't help the thought that the next time I leave there we will be leaving with our son!!!  It was such a cool moment and realization that we are so close to our dreams coming true and prayers answered!  I absolutely cannot wait to meet our little guy!

Childbirth Class and Preparation!

Lloyd and I attended a one day (8 hour) childbirth class offered through Kaiser on October 18th.  The class was $100 but well worth every single penny!  Even though it was only one day (versus the 5 week, 2 1/2 hour per session course) we walked away feeling like we had all the information we needed to be prepared for labor.

When we first found out we were pregnant I had no grand intentions of trying to go through labor without any form of pain management.  I had already experienced a small glimpse of what labor feels like when I had my second miscarriage and I was well aware that it's extremely painful.  However, sometime over these past few months I have really embraced the idea of a completely natural labor (although I am open to being flexible with my birth plan and getting an epidural if needed).  Lloyd's okay with whatever I decide but he was also encouraged by some co-workers that raved about their natural childbirth experience and just knowing that it is possible to do labor without assistance (his mother and grandmother both used pain management of some sorts- epidural and drugs).

My mom has been a great help in encouraging me.  She delivered both myself and my brother completely naturally and reminds me all the time that I can do this (actually both her and my dad remind me that I've completed 3 Ironmans and 7 marathons, surely I have the mental strength to get through the pain that accompanies labor).  Although she is encouraging she has also reminded me that this is my labor and I need to do what is best for me and Cameron and that I don't need to go through with a natural labor just to please someone else- if I do it, it will be for me and me only.

Anyways, back to class!  The doula teaching the class was amazing!  In fact, I would love to hire her but am not sure how necessary that is.  I'm confident that Lloyd will do a great job coaching me through all the contractions and hope that we successfully deliver Cameron naturally.  She gave us some great tips: 

• labor at home as much as possible (she advised us to leave for the hospital when my contractions are 3 minutes apart, 60 seconds long, and for 1 hour)
• we do not want an episiotomy unless medically necessary
• we want intermittent monitoring
• we want to move around as much as possible
• we want to use the bath/shower
• we don't want the umbilical chord cut until it stops pulsating
• we want skin-to-skin immediately if possible, etc.
• Lloyd will stay with Cameron if they take him to the nursery and remind the nurses that they need to get him back to me as soon as possible

We left feeling very empowered and invigorated!  Oh, and we had originally planned to deliver at Kaiser in Fontana but, after taking the doula's advice (which was strongly against Fontana for a natural delivery), have decided to deliver Cameron in Riverside! 

Now that class is done and we have our birth plan in place, I am starting to mentally prepare and visualize how that day might look and unfold.  To do so I bought a book called Ina May's Guide to Childbirth: Updated With New Material.  I just started reading it and am finding it very empowering as well!  Part I tells the birth stories of numerous women who delivered naturally (and most at The Farm or in a home setting).  The book shows that labor is a very natural experience that women were designed to do instead of all the horror stories that we hear of today and the fear of pain, you can't do it mentality, etc that our culture has come to embrace.  I'm very much looking forward to learning more and more as I journey through this book.

I cannot believe that it's already November, which means next month we will be meeting our precious little Cameron!  As each day passes and we get closer to his arrival, I find myself so enthused with excitement!  I absolutely cannot wait for Cameron to be her, to hold him in my arms for the first time, to see what he looks like, and to just love every second of being his mommy!  Life is so incredibly good!

Baby Shower!

We had our baby shower on October 4th!  It was absolutely perfect- the food was great and Cameron is so loved and spoiled but most importantly it meant the world to have everyone there celebrating in the arrival of our son!  We are truly blessed beyond words!  Oh, and it was a nautical theme- just like Cameron's room!

Shower hosts, Linda and Terri!  Thank you ladies!

Me, Dad, and Linda!

Mom and Aunt Annette writing on Cameron's life-saver!

Diaper cake from Karina!

Me, Aunt Annette, Mom, Glenna, Grandma Mary, and Diana!

Shower games- Baby Word Search and Baby Bingo!

Carolyin Joy checking things out!

Love Cameron's name for his nursery- perfect for above his crib!

Life-saver for Cameron's room!  Everyone wrote him a little message :)

 

Homemade blanket from my Aunt Annette!

My diaper bag!  My Mom stuffed every pocket with all kinds of goodies- Butt paste, shampoo, pacifiers, clothes, diaper clutch, and much more!  Super creative and thoughtful!

Hand-made nautical quilt from Mom Williams!

Cameron's little walker!  Before we know it he'll be roaming around the house!

Cameron's whale bath tub filled with all the bath time essentials!  Thank you Grandma Mary- cannot wait to give our little guy many baths...many fun memories to be created!

This little girl has my heart!  Love you Carolyn Joy!  She also tested all baby toys and gave her two thumbs up approval! :)

My amazing sister-in-law, Diana, made these adorable sailboats!
 

Our little guy is all set!  Cannot believe he's going to be here in about 2 more months!  Now it's time to organize his nursery and enjoy these next few weeks before his arrival!  Both Lloyd and I are feeling overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude as we have nearly all that we need prior to his birth day!

28 and 29 Weeks: 3rd Trimester is Here!!

Baby Bump- 29 weeks!

That's right- as of last week, I am officially in my 3rd trimester!! 

Today, I am 29w2d pregnant and overall feeling pretty good!  My biggest complaint right now is that my hips hurt really bad at night while sleeping and I inevitably wake up in so much pain that I have to switch to sleeping reclined in our bed. 

Other than that, I love being pregnant (feeling little Cameron kick is the absolute best!) and am thankful that I am still walking every day (sometimes up to 2 hours total, between a walk in the morning and in the evening)!

Our campsite!

Not too much has been going on pregnancy-wise.  This past weekend Lloyd and I took advantage of having a weekend of no plans and went camping!  We decided to check out a new campsite up in Idyllwild (Boulder Basin).  We headed up there early on Friday, arriving around noon.  We had reserved site 23 but quickly decided that we liked site 27 better, so we made the switch since it was available.

Unfortunately, it was not the ideal weekend to go camping.  It was cold and windy on Friday.  After setting up camp we took a walk around the campground to explore.  We spontaneously decided that we wanted to walk up to the lookout tower (it's a tower that has volunteers running it daily to check for wildfires in the area).  The sign said it was only 1/4 mile so we thought we would go up there and check it out (it was probably closer to 1/2 mile each way and a very steep uphill getting there...starting elevation was 7,300 ft; ending elevation was 7,700+ ft).

29 weeks pregnant and at 7,772 ft elevation!

Once at the tower we met the volunteers.  To our surprise it was a retired married couple from Yorba Linda (we could literally throw a rock from our old condo and hit their house!).  We enjoyed talking to them and learning all about the fire tower and volunteer opportunity...in fact, we took a card to explore more into this option (something that Lloyd and I can do a few years down the road!)!

Back at camp we made dinner (turkey burgers and baked beans), had a camp fire (and ate s'mores), and called it a night around 9 pm.  That night was rough (even sleeping on an air mattress!).  It was cold and windy all night and neither of us got a great night of sleep. 

View from Fire Tower Lookout hike (on the way up)

We did end up sleeping, off and on, until about 7:30 am.  Once up, Lloyd got the fire started.  We enjoyed it for a little while until being frustrated at the variable wind direction and smoke blowing in every direction.  After the fire we took a walk down to get water (0.9 mile each way).  On the way back we had a nice conversation with the camp ranger and our next door neighbors (nice couple from Beaumont).

Back to our site we made breakfast...breakfast burritos- yum!!  We relaxed for quite some time and then decided to hike to the group camp, about 1.5 miles down the road.  On the way to our destination we saw some Yellow Post sites...we'll have to check those out next year!  The group camp was very secluded and peaceful!  The hike was beautiful and it was great to get out and away from camp (and get some exercise too!)!

View of Morongo Casino and valley from Fire Lookout Tower

After our trek, we arrived back to a cold and windy campsite.  We were both wondering what to do (whether to stay or go home) as the weather was only getting worse.  Ultimately, we decided to pack most things up, make dinner, enjoy the camp fire, and head home around 9 pm.  It just wasn't worth another night of being cold and not sleeping well. 

So, that's exactly what we did.  We made burritos (chicken, black beans, corn, and cheese on a whole wheat flour tortilla) for dinner, enjoyed the camp fire, ate some s'mores, and called it good.  We left around 8:30 pm and started the drive home.  Thankfully we did as it rained on the way home and the next morning the weather was showing 29 degrees in the mountains (and looked very ominous!).

Besides our camping adventure, this week is really exciting as I have our baby shower this Saturday!!  I'm so excited to see everyone (some friends and family will be there that I haven't seen in a long time) and to see all the great things that we will get for little Cameron!  We are truly so blessed to have everyone in our life and so excited for this little guy's arrival!!!

27 Weeks: OC 1/2 Marathon, Baby Shower (cousin's), and Nursery Furniture!

27w2d pregnant!!  This past week was filled with so much busyness and goodness!

First, I signed up for the OC 1/2 Marathon!  The race is May 3, 2015...so, Cameron will just under 5 months old (or so, depending on when he decides to arrive).  I will have about 4 months to train after 9 months of no running!  I am so excited for having this to look forward to!  Both my dad and I will be running together (something I absolutely love and cherish) and it's the race where I qualified for Boston and ran my fastest marathon in 2012, just a couple months before we started our TTC journey!  It will be great to be back at that race!

Second, my cousin had her baby shower this weekend.  Lloyd's best friend Andy (and his wife Jen, live close to the shower, so I asked to stop by for a visit and drop off a meal for them since they just had their precious Jacob 6 weeks ago.  It was great seeing Andy and Jacob...he was sleeping when I got there but Andy woke him up (isn't there a rule against that...never wake a sleeping baby!?!?) so that I could hold him and visit with him.  Luckily, he wasn't too upset by this and actually fell back to sleep in my arms!  He is so cute and I really enjoyed spending time with him- he's growing so fast!

Anyways, back to my cousin...she is due October 19th and it was great to see her and the rest of our family!  The host, Carrie, read from Psalm 139 prior to everyone getting their food.  I love this part of scripture and it was such a beautiful reminder of just how intricately involved God is in the details of Cameron and the purpose for our precious son's life.

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

 

After the shower, Linda, Diana, and I drove to Laguna Hills to meet my brother and dad at Starbucks.  Unfortunately, Starbucks didn't have enough indoor seating (and it was HOT outside, slightly over 100 degrees!).  So, we decided to walk across the street to BJ's Restaurant.  Dad, Kenny, and Diana all enjoyed a nice cold beer while Linda had water (she's doing a detox diet) and I had strawberry lemonade (it was deliciously refreshing!).  We visited for just an over an hour before I had to leave to make the drive home.

 

I just have to say that my husband, Lloyd, is absolutely amazing!  I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such an amazing husband, lover, best friend, co-pilot, and father for my children!  While I was away at the baby shower, Lloyd started painting the wainscoting in the nursery.  We both thought it would take both Saturday and Sunday to finish but he was able to finish it in about 6 hours on Saturday!  I came home to not only having the nursery painted but also the dresser all set up in the nursery!  And, to top it off, we worked for about 5 hours on Sunday putting the crib together, deciding on furniture setup (we didn't realize how small his room was until we tried putting a dresser, crib, and rocking chair in there!), cleaning the room out and organizing the guest room!  We made such great progress this weekend and it's a HUGE relief!  It feels great to have this checked off our To-Do list...now we just need to get the rest of Cameron's stuff, finish decorating the nursery, make some meals to freeze, and attend some classes!  We are getting closer and closer to being ready for our little guy's arrival!

 

Finally, we made it to church yesterday!  We have been so busy and out of town most weekends that it's been awhile since we've gone.  It felt so great being back in church, surrounded by many people we haven't seen in awhile, worship, and a great message on the vision of our church.  I'm so glad we decided to go (we ended up at the 5 pm service...better late than never!)!  I hope that we can get back into the routine of going on a regular basis and get connected more!  Speaking of, our small group starts on Thursday and that's very exciting as the group is for expecting parents and/or new parents!

 

Pregnancy-wise, things are going really well!  I am feeling great (for the most part) and loving being pregnant!  I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and am excited to see my OB and hopefully see little Cameron (I will at minimum get to hear his heartbeat via Doppler)!  I also have to do my glucose test for gestational diabetes...not looking forward to this but hoping that I pass and that I don't have GD or have to do the 3-hour test!

 

God is so good!  This past week was filled with so many blessings!  Life is so good and I am enjoying every minute!  Cameron is very active these days and it's such a relief and blessing!  In fact, he loves to kick sometime around 2-3 am and I find that I really look forward to those moments (I am usually awake and switching sleeping positions thanks to my nightly hip pain)!  It's amazing to think that he will be here in 12 weeks or so...we officially have less than 3 months til his EDD!!! 



26 Weeks: Jesus Calling- September 9, 2014

Today I am 26w3d pregnant!  Little Cameron is kicking a lot these days (especially at 2 am) and it's absolutely the best feeling ever!  I am so bonded and in love with our little guy!  I cannot believe he's going to be in here about 3 more months!  So excited to meet him and hold him in my arms for the first time!

Nothing too exciting pregnancy-wise this week.  Next week I need to complete the Glucose Test to determine if I have Gestational Diabetes (it's a routine test done between 26-28 weeks).  So long as my numbers come back okay from the 1 hour test, then I am good to go; otherwise, I will have to do the 3 hour test.  I also have another appointment next week and am hoping to have an ultrasound (not sure if she will do one but one can hope!).  It would be great to see the little guy!!

Yesterday, as I was reading one of my online forum boards, I learned that someone's cousin just delivered her baby still born at 38 weeks.  The tears and pain that I felt when reading the news is indescribable.  I can only imagine the pain that mother is feeling right now.  It brought back all those feelings and pain from our two losses and reminded me not to take a minute for granted with our little guy.

Thankfully, I am truly loving every moment of being pregnant!  This is somewhat weird to me because I can remember saying all too frequently that I didn't really care about going through the whole pregnancy thing, I just wanted a baby.  This was before and when we had just started trying to get pregnant.  I know that this is just one of the ways God used our journey to change me.  Honestly, some days I love the fact that I get little Cameron all to myself and that we have this special bond and I know that I will miss his little kicks once this pregnancy is over.

Today, as I was reading Jesus Calling it was a great reminder that God's got His hand all over this pregnancy and our journey.  I was reminded of the verse that I dedicate to this journey and now hold as my life verse (Proverbs 3:5-6):

WALK WITH ME along paths of trust.  The most direct route between point A and point B on your life-journey is the path of unwavering trust in Me.  When your faith falters, you choose a trail that meanders and takes you well out of your way.  You will get to point B eventually, but you will have lost precious time and energy.  As soon as you realize you have wandered from your trust-path, look to Me and whisper, "I trust you, Jesus".  This affirmation will help you get back on track.

 

The farther you roam along paths of unbelief, the harder it is to remember that I am with you.  Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking you farther and farther from awareness of My Presence.  You need to voice your trust in Me frequently.  This simple act of faith will keep you walking along straight paths with Me.  Trust in Me with all your heart, and I will make your paths straight.

 

GOD IS GOOD AND HE IS FAITHFUL!  As I was driving to work this morning and reflecting on the message in Jesus Calling, I was reminded of how much of this journey has been a spiritual journey and season of growth for me personally.  God brought me to a place where my only choice was to kneel on my knees and look up, leaning on Him for strength, accepting His peace, and holding on to the hope that can only be found in Him.  It was the furthest possible from an easy season of my life but it was a journey and a reward that I would choose to do all over again knowing what I know now. 

 

Thank you God for carrying me through such a hard time and holding true to the promises that you kept assuring me of every step of the way!  I'm forever humbled and thankful- I could never deserve the love you have shown to me.



Jesus Calling- September 1, 2014

Yesterday's Jesus Calling was perfect!  It speaks to exactly how I have been feeling lately and caused me to reflect on our journey to where we are today.

SEEK ME with your whole being.  I desire to be found by you, and I orchestrate the events of your life with that purpose in mind.  When things go well and you are blessed, you can feel Me smiling on you.  When you encounter rough patches along your life-journey, trust that My Light is still shining upon you.  My reasons for allowing these adversities may be shrouded in mystery, but My continual Presence with you is an absolute promise.  Seek Me in good times; seek Me in hard times.  You will find Me watching over you all the time.

 

God IS smiling down on Lloyd and I right now!  He's beaming from ear to ear and saying to me, "Look, I promised that good times were ahead.  You just had to trust Me, hold on to hope, have faith in Me, and be patient". 

 

One thing I know to be true after going through all we did when we lost our two babies is that God NEVER left my side.  In fact, without God, I don't know how I would have survived the darkest of times.  He was there for me when I felt completely alone and He carried me when the pain was too much to bear.  All along the way He kept promising me that, no matter what was in front of me or around the corner, that I was going to be okay and that better days were ahead.  He took me to a place where I had no other choice but to lean on Him and to trust in Him...and in that season I experienced my greatest pain but also my greatest growth.  I am forever thankful for the journey He took us on because it's changed me forever...I have a hope and a faith that is stronger than ever and I have a relationship with God that is much more meaningful and intimate because of the path He took us on. 

 

Thank you God for your relentless love, your peace that surpasses all understanding, your friendship, grace, and strength!  You are good and You ARE faithful!