9 weeks!

Today I am 9 weeks pregnant!!  WOOHOO!!  We had our third u/s appointment last Thursday and everything is going so smoothly!  Our little peanut was moving around a lot!  At one point he/she moved it's arm and both the doctor and I saw it but Lloyd missed it.  The doctor tried "poking" me with the u/s (vaginal) wand to get him/her to move again but wasn't successful until I laughed about something.  Lloyd was able to see it, we listened to the heartbeat (which sounded a little stronger than the week before), and we left feeling very happy for another great appointment!

We also talked to my doctor about not doing the California Pre-screening Testing that tests for the risk of genetic disorders such as Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and 18, and Spina Bifida.  Both Lloyd and I feel that we will not terminate a pregnancy under any circumstances and that by doing the testing it only increases the risk of stress and anxiety since it doesn't tell you whether or not the baby HAS the genetic disorder, only that it has a high risk for it (follow-up diagnostic testing would be required to actually diagnose the disorder). 

Basically, the only reason for me to do the testing is for another u/s towards the end of my first trimester (otherwise I would not have any appointments between 10 and 15 weeks).  My doctor agreed to do another u/s for me at 12.5 weeks so that I can decline the genetic testing!  Can I just say how much I really love my OB!?!?  She is really awesome and so understanding of my PGAL (pregnancy after loss) anxiety and concerns and does her best to keep my mind at peace!

Yesterday was Mother's Day and it was absolutely perfect!!!  I woke up and came downstairs to a homemade card from Lloyd and a couple gifts!  Lloyd picked out a maternity dress and blouse for me from our little peanut!  It really was perfect, thoughtful, and so sweet of him to even do something to recognize Mother's Day!  I can really tell that he's so happy for us to be pregnant again and so ready for us to be parents!  He is honestly going to be the best daddy ever and I cannot wait to see him holding our little baby in his arms!

We also went to church yesterday and it was a beautiful service!  Our new pastor and his wife struggled with infertility for years prior to adopting their three children.  He gets how hard Mother's Day is for some women and he opened the sermon with a word of prayer for everyone struggling with infertility and/or losses.  I feel so blessed to belong to a church that understands how difficult the journey can be to have our family, especially when our plan does not match up with God's plan. 

Although yesterday was much different for me than last year's Mother's Day, I was also reminded of our journey to get to where we are today, was thinking of the two precious babies that we loss, and of course thinking and praying for all my friends I know that are still struggling on this difficult journey to start their family.

So, today we are very much pregnant and further along (with a viable baby) than in our previous two pregnancies and we are so incredibly thankful!  I love being pregnant (even though I am tired and nauseous all the time) and cannot wait for all the things I have to look forward to!  I cannot wait to see our little peanut again next Tuesday, for our June 5th appointment (final 1st trimester appointment!!), to start wearing my maternity clothes, to feel our little baby kicking, to find out if our baby is a boy or a girl, and to finally hold our baby in our arms! 

God is so good and He is so faithful!  During worship yesterday, they played "Relentless".  What a beautiful song and so appropriate for this journey!  God's love is relentless...He never gives up on us and He's just asking us to surrender to His will and His plan for our lives.  He hurts when we hurt and He's always present.  I can honestly say that it's God's relentless love that carried me through this past year and I am forever thankful for his love, grace, mercy, peace, and strength!