All Things Possible

 

I first heard this song a few months ago when Lloyd and I were still trying to get pregnant for the second time.  This song "sang" to me and really touched my heart during that season.  I would listen to it and immediately feel recharged and full of hope.

For some reason this song was not part of my "miscarriage journey playlist" (a specialized selection of Christian Rock songs that really help me stay focused on what is true, bring peace, and remain full of hope in the darkest of moments).  I created this list because I have about 60 songs in this genre and I found myself skipping the ones that weren't as helpful and going to those that I wanted to hear more. 

For the past 4 months or so I have been only listening to that playlist but, for some reason, last week I decided to shuffle through all 60 Christian Rock songs.  In doing so I have "rediscovered" some new favorites and realize that I might need to change it up a bit! 

"All Things Possible" is one of those songs right now!  When I heard this song last week I couldn't help but feel more upbeat, positive, full of hope, less depressed and sad, and refocused on our God who is able to make all things possible!  I immediately selected the "repeat" icon on my iPhone and listened to this song until I felt okay to move forward. 

 

As I drive to work each morning, I play this song first before turning on my audiobook.  I just love the words and find myself almost shouting:

 

My God is STRONG and MIGHTY

 

My God is FAITHFUL

 

My HOPE is in the Lord

 

For He is ABLE

 

 

Last week was the beginning of a new journey for us.  I was able to get my referral approved for the infertility specialist and get a consultation appointment. 

 

Meeting my new doctor was full of different emotions...excitement about getting the process started, anxiety over the unknowns of what lies ahead, fear over getting pregnant again and possibly losing another baby, anger and frustration that we have to "try again", and sadness over having to see an infertility specialist, being in the same facility as I had my D&C (this brought about feelings on my drive there that I wasn't expecting), having to relive both pregnancies and our entire journey as she asked all the questions she needed to ask and over the fact that they accidentally sent me to OB/GYN for a few minutes. 

 

When all was said and done, I felt encouraged and relieved.  I feel comfortable with her and feel like I can trust her advice.  She reassured me that our third pregnancy had a very good chance of leading us to taking our baby home and that we were doing everything we could to get answers!  I left the appointment, went downstairs to do my blood tests, and went home to rest, feeling exhausted by all the emotions.

 

My period started this past weekend and with that the testing process is well underway.  I emailed the doctor (as advised) and scheduled an appointment for a "bubble study".  This is a test where they inject saline into the uterus to evaluate the structure and any abnormalities that might be causing us to lose our babies.  The appointment is scheduled for this Friday...looking forward to it being done and having answers and a strategy in a couple of weeks (if not sooner!)!

 



As we start the new journey of infertility testing, seeking answers and recommendations for our next pregnancy, and walking along the path of trying again and all the uncertainty that goes with this journey...my heart is filled with so much peace and hope knowing that God is able to make all things possible!  My hope and trust are in Him alone...He is the one that provides the strength to endure and persevere no matter what speed bumps cross our path!