Jesus Calling- December 21, 2013

Last Friday I had an appointment with our RE for a test called a "bubble study".  It's very similar to a HSG in that they look at the shape and structure of the uterus and the fallopian tubes to make sure that there isn't anything that might be causing us to lose our babies (or have difficulty getting pregnant again). 

The doctor did the test and I was surprised at how little pain was actually involved (I was prepared for the worst as I had heard some horror stories of others' experiences).  When all was said and done, the doctor let me know that everything looked great and that all my blood work also looked good.  Basically, it's looking like we will have a "unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss" diagnosis (we will get the official results and plan for moving forward on January 3rd when I have a follow-up appointment with my RE).

I left the appointment feeling a little disappointed and discouraged.  Although it's great news that there is "nothing wrong", it also leaves room for doubt moving forward because the statistics are that our next pregnancy has a 60-70% success rate (instead of 80% without any prior losses).  Yes, this is much better than a result of "there is something drastically wrong and you will not ever be able to carry a pregnancy to term"...but with the greater chance of having another miscarriage, it makes it really difficult to get excited and feel hopeful for our next pregnancy.  If anything, I feel pretty terrified (at least a part of me that is being realistic and honest) at the thought that we just might have to go through this all over again.

So, reading this the next day was pretty perfect!

MY PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE is unfolding before you.  Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back.  Then, when the time is right, the way before you suddenly clears- through no effort of your own.  What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift.  You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world, and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.

 

Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly.  As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles- and you will.  Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly.  Living by faith, rather than sight, enables you to see My Glory.

 

I am forever thankful for my faith and relationship with God!  For when I am weak, He is strong!  It's because of my faith and knowing that God is all powerful and sovereign over all aspects of my life that I can release all my fears and worries into His loving hands, knowing that with Him this 60-70% rate really doesn't mean anything.  God will allow our next pregnancy to be successful and give us a baby in our arms if it's within His perfect timing!  I do believe that I will continue to see His little miracles along this journey in the upcoming days, weeks, and months!