God With Us In Our Difficulty: Holidays After Miscarriages

As a kid growing up I have always looked forward to the holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.  This has carried over into adulthood and is especially true these past few years as my husband and I continue to create special memories together in this season.

When we got pregnant last year with Joy, both Lloyd and I were eagerly anticipating this holiday season.  We were looking forward to doing Thanksgiving in our new home because we would have a 6 week old and traveling was probably not realistic.  We were excited for our first Christmas with our little baby.  Things were going to be different this year and it was a difference that was full of joy and excitement.

Then we lost Joy and we had to change our expectations and realize that our dreams were put on hold for a little while.  We were no longer going to be celebrating these "first" moments and holidays as a family of three.

In late October we learned that we were pregnant again.  We were filled with joy and a new anticipation of hopefully being out of the first trimester by Christmas and sharing the good news with our extended families.  This joy was short lived as within 4 weeks we had learned that we had lost this precious baby as well, just two weeks before Thanksgiving.

It was the weekend before Thanksgiving when I realized just how hard the holidays would be for me this year.  The next two weeks were by far the darkest in this entire journey.  I was full of deep sorrow and sadness, a sense of depression that I honestly had not even felt through the loss of Joy.  I was dreading the holidays, not really looking forward to seeing anyone.  I didn't have the motivation to do the things I normally love to do.  The invitation to see friends and family brought on anxiety and stress...I was just trying to get through life one day at a time.

It was in this place that I was truly scared and I didn't know how I was going to get out.  In these moments, I felt alone and then I realized that I wasn't alone.  God was right there with me...I just had to call to Him, to trust in Him, to hand over all my concerns and fears to Him.  And, He reminded me that I have a wonderful husband that I wasn't allowing or communicating exactly what I needed so that he too could be there for me too.

Thanksgiving was rough but we got through it.  I slowly started embracing the holidays by decorating our house for Christmas and gradually getting our shopping done.  I made a turkey dinner a couple weeks after Thanksgiving...this was a new first for me!  And, as the invitations to go to parties, meet up with friends and family, etc started to overwhelm me, I learned to say no and do what was best for me.

I was able to pull myself out of this hole and focus on the gift of Christmas...Jesus!  I honestly do not know how people get through trials and life circumstances similar to our journey in 2013 without Jesus.  He has been my lifesaver, constantly here in every moment, providing a peace that surpasses all understanding, and giving me the strength to endure each and every trial one step at a time.

Just yesterday I listened to a sermon from our old church titled "God with us in our difficulty".  There was so much in this message that applied to the spiritual journey I have been on as we try to start our family. 

It starts with realizing that although Christmas is a great time, filled with family and many traditions...it can also be a time of sadness for some because of loss.  This Christmas is both filled with joy over the many blessings we have but it's also a time of sadness, knowing that we have two babies in heaven that we wish could be here with us.

The second part that really spoke to me is how God is present in our times of distress.  Even more so, it's through these times of suffering and trials that God is ever present, we grow in our faith, and we realize just how Almighty God is...that He's a God that loves us, cares for us, and is with us every step of the way! 

I have said several times now that I would not wish this journey on anyone...it has been a difficult season.  But, I know and believe that I am forever changed because of this season and because of the goodness God has created through this journey, I would not take it back either.  It was exactly what I needed to mature me and to lead me to a place of deeper dependence on God.  And, I am a completely different woman, wife, and mother because of the road we have traveled this past year!

The final part that I love is that we realize God's ever-presence in our life when we seek Him with ALL our heart.  Before this journey, I sought God...but it wasn't with all my heart.  I only knew a glimpse of His greatness because I was only half-heartedly seeking Him.  It took circumstances where my only choice was to get on my knees and truly pray for me to realize just how awesome God is.  Words cannot describe His faithfulness, His goodness, His love, caring, and kindness...God is good no matter what the circumstances are!

I love this acrostic and it really does apply to all seasons (good times and bad times);

Praise- Praise God for His goodness

Repent- Repent of your sins and the changes you need to make in your actions and attitude

Ask- Ask.  You do not have because you do not ask.

Yield- Yield to God's will for your life.  Trust that He sees the WHOLE plan, not this small piece that only we see.

 

My heart truly goes out to all that are experiencing sadness, loss, and difficulties this holiday season.  I understand and I'm sorry for what you are going through.  I pray that you find peace in your hearts and that you seek God with ALL your heart and soul.  Focus on the beautiful gift that He has given us this Christmas...the birth of His one and only son!  Only He can provide what you need through these difficult times.  He is with you...He's a God that cares, will never leave you, and wants to walk this path with you.  Hang in there and know that better days are ahead!

 

God bless everyone this holiday season! 

The sermon can be found at www.friendschurchyl.com/media on December 1, 2013.