Since the loss of our precious James, I have spent some time (not all that much, honestly) researching the next steps and gathering information. I was surprised to learn that an infertile diagnosis is actually defined one of two ways: 1) The inability to get pregnant after 1 year of trying, or 2) Two consecutive miscarriages. In addition, the chances of this happening twice is around 5% (most likely lower for two losses after seeing a heartbeat with both babies).
That being said, it really frustrates me that two losses medically equates to the dreaded infertile diagnosis and yet many doctors do not push for any follow-up testing until the woman has experienced 3 losses. As someone that has suffered two losses now, I cannot fathom being told that I have to wait for a 3rd loss before getting any answers! I am already terrified at the thought of being pregnant again and potentially losing another baby.
It's been almost 4 weeks since we learned of our miscarriage. Since that day I've been adamant about getting answers so that we can move forward with confidence in our next pregnancy. So far we have found out that both our chromosome test results are normal and my HCG has returned to "not pregnant" status!
I've also learned that the testing process for recurrent pregnancy loss is quite extensive. For example, they will do a blood workup that can take weeks to get back (taking around 15 vials of blood!). They are looking for immune disorders and other factors that can cause miscarriages. In addition, I need to get an ultrasound of my uterus to determine if the lining is void of scar tissue/fibroids/etc, structure is good, and is normally shaped. Finally, they will most likely want to analyze hormonal factors throughout my menstrual cycle.
We have also been trying to figure out the next steps in this process and were waiting for my doctor to give guidance. However, after a lack of response from her, I took matters into my own hands and called Member Services. I was surprised to find out that I do not need a referral to see a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist)! This is really frustrating because now we have wasted 3.5 weeks that should have been spent moving forward instead of being further delayed!
On a side note, the woman from Member Services was nothing short of amazing! She was very kind and told me her story. She had 3 losses before having her daugther, who is almost 18 years old. She kept emphasizing not to give up hope and wished me lots of good luck moving forward. She was definitely a blessing from God...it was exactly what I needed to hear!
I called the two offices that I can potentially be seen by. I heard back from the first and was told to call in two weeks to schedule an appointment (there are no openings as of today). I also got a call back from the second office and found out that they can get me in next Tuesday! I'm so relieved and excited to be moving forward! They did tell me that we could schedule the appointment as "infertility" for now and recommended that I get a referral for "recurrent pregnancy loss" from my doctor to save money (it's 50% coinsurance without the referral...fully covered with the referral!).
This is just the start of what I fear will be a long process...but, I also feel so relieved in knowing that I am doing everything I can to prevent a 3rd loss. Ultimately, this entire journey is in God's hands and only He knows what our future holds...whether or not our next pregnancy will lead to our take home baby or another loss. But, He also has placed these experts here on earth to help woman like me to find answers. To me, I would rather go through the testing (even if the outcome of the results shows that there's nothing wrong) so that I have all the information at my disposal for the next time we are pregnant. I know how the fear and anxiety of the unknown was so unavoidable with James and I'm hoping that these answers will allow me to be comforted and full of peace with our third baby, of course with God's help!
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