Turning The "Why" Into "How"

When we first lost Joy I spent many months trying to figure out and questioning, "Why?"  Why did God allow us to lose our baby that we so loved?  And, what is the purpose for this heartache and pain?  What are the life lessons, character building, spiritual maturity that I need to learn? 

It's funny how all of these questions and concerns were addressed from a heart that truly wanted and desired to learn these lessons and figure out where God was going with all of this; however, I also wanted to "sprint" through this part of the journey and get to the finish line as fast as possible.  But, God has been working in His timeline, which is oftentimes at a much slower pace than I would prefer!

Somewhere around the 5 month mark after losing Joy I really started feeling like God had done so many amazing things throughout those months and that He was encouraging me to share our story and my journey.  It was around this time that I decided to start this blog as a starting point, willing to be open to whatever and however God wanted to use me.

This morning, while reading two of my devotionals, I was humbled to see that they were both focused on why we cannot always understand why God does things the way He does and also on turning the why into a how. 

The following is from Laura Story's Blessings devotional (Chapter 28, Turning Your Why's Into How's):

"If you're going through tough times, perhaps you have been asking that age-old question:  why?  If that's the question you've been asking, don't be surprised if the answer doesn't arrive at your doorstep anytime soon.  Occasionally, God answers the 'why' question quickly and painlessly, but more often than not He's in no hurry to explain Himself.

 

Asking 'why' can be helpful for processing grief, which is important.  But, my experiences have taught me that focusing too intently on the why's of life is like running on a gerbil wheel:  I never seem to get anywhere, and the only product is exhaustion.

 

So, what's a person to do?  I suggest moving beyond the 'why' and proceeding directly to the 'how' by asking yourself, 'How might God use my trial to glorify Himself'

 

If you're enduring hardship, and if you've been suffering for a while, perhaps it's now time to stop asking why and instead ask yourself how you can bring glory to your Heavenly Father.  I have no doubt that God can use your tough times for His glory.  Will you let Him?"

 



Lately I feel that He's calling me to ministry to reach out and touch the lives of those in my community struggling with infertility.  I am praying for His guidance on exactly how to do this.  What are the first steps?  Where do I want to minister?  Is this a support group that I start from our church?  If so, how do I reach out to others in our community that might not be believers? 

And then, just the other day, I was researching "how to deal with anxiety in the 2WW" and somehow came to the RESOLVE website (nationally recognized infertility organization) where I was lead to the "support group" section, only to find out that there are not any live support groups in my surrounding community.  God, was this just coincidence or your doing?  Are you leading me to possibly something even bigger than I could have imagined from the beginning days of this blog or a small church support group (which would be just as great if that's where God leads me!)?

I have no idea where God is leading me right now but I am willing to keep asking, listening for His quiet answers, looking for the doors that He opens, and actually walking through them when He asks me to!  I am so humbled to know that God is using this journey for something that is far greater than me and my circumstances. 

I am reminded of these blessings each time I am able to comfort and encourage a friend who is also struggling with infertility.  Just yesterday I learned that a friend from my online community lost her baby.  My heart is truly breaking for her right now and I am praying for her and her husband right now.  I know the pain that they are going through, the questions that are running through their mind, the heartache that seems unbearable and overwhelming. 

I truly would not wish these circumstances on my worst enemy because the journey is hard and it's something that you never truly recover from.  In time it just gets different and easier to cope with, but the pain never fully disappears.  But, in the midst of all this pain and heartache God is able to use these trials for our good!  One of the scriptures that sticks out is found in Psalm 27.  It sings to my heart because it's so true.  The hope of God's goodness and faithfulness is the foundation of my strength through this journey.  It's my prayer that everyone traveling the road of infertility will cling to this promise found in God's Word.