Celebrating Joy!

In the weeks leading up to Joy's birthday, I was really searching for a way to celebrate and remember this special day!  I knew that I didn't want the day to pass just like all the others- I wanted it to be special.  I prayed about things we could do, ways we could memorialize/celebrate, etc and nothing was really speaking to me...until I was on one of the forums I frequent and a woman posted about her husband's thoughtful idea to write a letter to their baby (on their EDD) and release it in a balloon.  This was perfect, I thought!

So, I went to Michael's craft store on Friday and purchased cute pink and purple spotted paper.  On Saturday morning I wrote Joy a letter to let her know how much I love her and miss her every single day.  While out and about running errands, I stopped in Stater Bros and asked for a purple balloon.  I placed the letter in the balloon, filled it up with helium, and proceeded to return home.

My plan was to release the balloon at sunrise the next morning, on the trails near our home overlooking the valley.  However, while cooking dinner that night, I looked at the balloon and realized that it was quickly losing air.  I asked Lloyd for his advice and he agreed that it probably wouldn't last until the next morning. 

Dinner still had about 20 minutes left to cook and sunset was fast approaching.  Lloyd thought that I should drive his car to the trail and release the balloon at sunset.  I thought releasing it at sunset was perfect, but a part of me really wanted to run to the trail.  Running is always something that brings me closer to God and lets me know that Joy is near (it's a reminder of my pregnancy days where I would run and pray for Joy)!

While Lloyd took over finishing up dinner, I set out on my adventure...balloon in hand and a very Santa Ana windy evening!  I arrived at the trail in plenty of time before sunset.  I had my iPhone in hand to take some pictures and decided that I wanted to worship God during this time, through music and prayer.  I put my Christian music playlist on...normally I would let the songs play in sequence but this time I felt that I needed to let God decide what I needed to hear.  I'm so glad I did this because His selection was perfect.

As I walked down the trail, the first song that came on was Kutless, "I'm Still Yours".  God couldn't have given me a more perfect song to start this celebration, as it really does speak to my faith in God...I will remain faithful even if He takes it all away.

Walking along the trail, balloon in hand, I prayed thanking God for this beautiful day, amazing sunset, for always being here for me throughout this journey, for giving me a husband that has truly been incredible and bringing us closer through this journey, and for the amazing gift that is Joy!  But, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to release the balloon...I wanted to wait for the perfect moment but yet it was hard to LET GO when the time came.

God gave me the gentle nudge at the end of the song and I was able to release the balloon.  It was such a freeing moment, very therapeutic.  I continued to walk along the trail, taking pictures (at one point it got stuck in a tree and I was able to release it again) as it flew away.

 

 

"Even If" by Kutless was the second song that came on, just as I was releasing the balloon for it's final destination.  I was in awe at this selection as this is the song that God gave me back in April.  I vividly remember the first time I heard it...I was driving to my in-laws home in Bullhead City (we were all driving separately because we were moving them from Apple Valley to Bullhead that day).  This song came on the radio and I instantly had to Shazam it and find out what it was.  I have listened to this song repeatedly...some days, this was the ONLY song I listened to!  It's a true reminder that no matter what, God is good and God is faithful.  It kept my focus on the truth found in God's word.  This is the song that I listened to when the pain was intense, my anxiety was at it's worse, and I was full of fear...it was through this song that I was able to release these things into God's arms and for a few moments feel His peace, grace, and love (more to come on this song in the upcoming weeks!).

 



 

I continued to jog down the trail, following the balloon...thinking and praying along the way.  This celebration truly was perfect in so many ways!  It was a special moment for Joy and me, it was healing and freeing, and most importantly I felt God ALL over me from the time I wrote the letter until I returned home to Lloyd!  Throughout this entire journey, the one thing that continues to amaze me is how present God has been...He truly has been near every step of the way, hearing all my prayers, meeting all my needs, and giving me enough grace to get through every single day!  God is GOOD!

 

Throughout my trek home, the following songs played:

1. "Never Once" by Matt Redman
2. "Help Me Find It" by Sidewalk Prophets
3. "We Won't Be Shaken" by Building 429
4. "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin

Each and every one of those songs was hand picked from God and they were perfect!  They each have their own special place in this journey and have truly helped encourage me throughout the past 6 months!  Thank you God for providing the perfect worship for a day I will never forget and always sustaining me every step of the way!  To You be the Glory, forever and ever, AMEN!