Faith

I went for a walk after dinner last night.  Upon returning home I saw my email that said my test results were posted.  My heart was racing with curiosity and nervousness...it's like God had already prepared me for what I was about to see.

718...

Immediately, my heart sunk and my mind went to the worst place...we are inevitably going to lose this baby.  I shared the news with Lloyd and a few people I had asked for prayers.  Lloyd and I had our moments last night of crying, feeling defeated, losing hope, etc.

As we went to bed, we prayed to God letting Him know that no matter what happens, we trust in His plan...but, of course, we would love the miracle of holding this baby in our arms!

I woke up this morning with a new sense of hope and peace.  Although still sad and frustrated that the numbers aren't what I want them to be and they don't LOOK good, I had this sense that I needed to do everything I could to fight for this baby!  The numbers are going up and today our baby is still very much alive and growing!!!

 

I did a little research on low and slow rising HCG's and found some encouragement in seeing that there are NORMAL pregnancies that do not meet the standard textbook of doubling every 2-3 days.  In fact, the statistics are that 85% of normal pregnancies have HCG doubling every 2-3 days...that means that 15% of normal pregnancies DO NOT follow this pattern and HCG alone is not the deciding factor! 

 

This same 15% is also the same statistic of confirmed pregnancies that end in miscarriage...and since we have already experienced that with our first baby, I KNOW that it's possible to experience the positive side of this statistic with THIS baby!

 

 

The "substitute" doctor (filling in while my doctor is on vacation) ordered some more blood tests for next week and said that we will just keep our fingers crossed (I will continue to pray and pray and pray some more!) until my appointment in 2 weeks!

 

Only God knows how this will turn out...but I do believe that it will be okay, no matter what!  Either I get my dream of holding our baby in my arms or I will go through another chapter of growth...only God knows the path that I need to take and I find comfort in knowing and trusting in His plans for my life! 

 

 

On my walk this morning, I played this song on "repeat".  It's such a great reminder of how God always comes through!  He is my strength, my rock, my salvation...I will not fear for my help is on the way, my God will come through ALWAYS!!!  I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord!  Amen!