One Year Ago Today

Exactly one year ago today was the happiest day of my life!  This was the day that completely changed my life, although in different ways than I had envisioned at the time.  It was this day that I went home on my lunch hour, took a pregnancy test, and saw that beautiful, most precious second pink line!  I was in shock, thrilled, crying tears of happiness, and thanking God for this wonderful blessing! 

I couldn't wait to share the news with Lloyd so I called him immediately, leaving a message for him to call me back.  While waiting for his phone call, I called my best friend and shared the news with her as well (I was going over to her house that afternoon and she was the reason I tested...if I hadn't, she would have "talked me into" taking a test while at her house and I wanted to be able to share this moment privately and with Lloyd first).  She was about 10 weeks pregnant at the time and we were both just thrilled that we would be going through pregnancy together.

Lloyd quickly called back and was fearing that I would tell him the bad news that my period had finally arrived.  I said, "Nope, you are going to be a daddy!".  He was going through the same emotions as me...elated, shocked, thrilled, and a little bit of disbelief! 

It was such a glorious day...just the thought of it brings back so much joy to my heart! 

As I was driving to work this morning and praying, I thanked God for the blessing of being able to experience that moment and for the gift that was our precious daughter!  She truly was the most perfect blessing in our life!  It was her presence in our life that started this life-changing journey.  In just a short 6.5 weeks, she started a journey that has led to some changes in me that I am forever thankful for.  It's because of her (and God, of course) that I am who I am today.

But, this day is also very bittersweet and it has been difficult leading up to today.  A year ago we were pregnant...today, we are not.  In some ways it feels like we actually took a step backwards instead of forward as far as coming closer to our dreams of having our family.

As difficult as this thought is, I cannot help but be thankful for all the ways God has blessed me through this journey.  He has not only forever changed me as an individual but He has guided me in the creation of this blog (which is only the beginning of what I know He has planned for this ministry He's calling me to).  It's through this journey that I have been privileged to touch the lives of others, whether it's people that I know in real life or friends that God has placed in my life through internet forums. 

I have been blessed to see small, yet significant, blessings in these peoples' lives through the sharing of our story and my journey.  These are the little miracles that make me remember that this is all of God's plan...this journey is not only about me.  Most importantly, it's about God! 

The One Year Book of Hope devotional the past couple days has been very affirming.  Yesterday there was a part that said that "God cannot use someone significantly until that person has been deeply hurt".  For me, I see the truth in that.  Before this journey there was no evidence in my life that could point back to God.  Yes, there was suffering but not too significant to cause me to really test my faith, bring me closer and more dependent on God, and definitely not something that would cause someone else to think "wow, what does she have...I want that!".

Today's devotional was out of 2 Corinthians 12.  I absolutely love this and have relied on this passage many times these past few months.  It's in my weakness that Christ is strong...His grace is sufficient no matter what the circumstances!

Yes, today is bittersweet...but today, I am making the decision to focus on the sweetness that is in my life!  I am truly blessed to be on this road, getting the opportunity to help others along the way!  This is God's ultimate purpose in our life- to serve others! 

I am also forever grateful for my amazing husband!  I knew when we got married that he was the man for me!  Marrying him was by far the best decision I've ever made!  And, it's through this journey that we are forever changed as husband and wife and parents...I could not have picked a better man to walk side by side through this life!

I love you Joy!  Thank you for blessing my life in so many ways...more than I even understand today!